Beautiful Things

With all of the ugliness around sometimes it's better to just focus on the small things, the things that I will always find beautiful no matter where I travel to in Sudan:

A child's smile
The beautiful nature
Breathtaking sunsets

A dream come true

I recently posted a story about how much I love to fly in Sudan and how I've wanted to become a pilot. Well, my dream came true when I recently flew from Agok to Loki! I boarded a missionary flight (who knew that the Church had enough money to buy all these planes- maybe I'm in the wrong field?) The first part of the flight was from Agok to Rumbek. I was leaving Sudan suddenly for unfortunate family reasons, but somehow this flight made it a better way to leave. I had a moment of panic when getting on the plane and realizing that it was only the pilot and I. I had images of the pilot passing out, having a heart attack, freaking out, suddenly becoming suicidal, etc, and being alone up in the air with no idea what to do next or even how to radio for help. So, the fact that he let me sit in the copilot seat was really only a security measure in case something were to happen right? I told the pilot that I had always wanted to fly and that my grandfather had been in the Royal Air Force during WWII so the pilot kindly agreed to give me a lesson on how to fly. (Thank you to the pilot if you ever read my blog!) He taught me not only to fly in the air, but how to land in Rumbek and take off again! You can't imagine the rush of pulling back on the controls and having the whole plane go up in the air. The second part of the flight was to Loki which means that we flew over the Eastern Equatoria area where I used to work. (At this point we had other passengers, so the pilot put the controls back on autopilot so they wouldn't get motion sickness from my jerky movements) I told the pilot about my love for the hills of Eastern Equatoria after which the flight turned into somewhat of a personal scenic flight. We flew in circles around the Didinga hills to see the villages perched up on top of the hills completely isolated from anyone else. The pilot checked out the runway perched on top of the mountain which looked impossible to land on (causing quite a scare to the other two passengers on the plane). One misjudgement and you fall of the side of the mountain... He flew the plane so that I could get the perfect shot of my favorite place in Sudan. Now, only in Sudan would you have a day like this- I can't imagine just being given the controls of a plane anywhere else in the world and being given a personal tour like this!

Missing

I have been missing... I know... This is because we have had no power in our compound for almost a month now! No solar power, no generators, no batteries- they all died at once! It was definitely time for me to get out of Sudan in order to be able to communicate with the outside world. I may or may not be going back to Sudan, but I have many more stories and photos of my time that are on their way so stay tuned. (I've added a photo of a peace celebration in Napac/ Kimatong that I went to until I can post my other stories)

But for now it was time for me to leave Sudan.

Here are the top five reasons (aside from lack of electricity) why it was time for a break:

1. Hearing land-mines being detonated doesn't make me jump out of my skin anymore. This not yet the case with gunshots. Upon hearing gunshots last week (these were celebration gunshots), I was the only one to cover my head with my hands and squeal - the Sudanese didn't even flinch. (not one of my finest moments)

2. I was served termites fried with onions for supper one night in Torit. It looks remarkably like brown rice on first glance which almost caused me to mistakenly take a big spoonful... Thank goodness I saw that it had a head and legs!

3. I was starting to forget what a hot shower, flush toilets, and paved roads were like. (all great inventions by the way, should not be taken for granted)

4. The rains have come again and my gumboots are not quite the novelty that they once were when I first got them.

5. The dead dog saga continues.... over 50 local Toposa chiefs showed up at our compound and demanded that we slaughter a white bull for compensation for burying the dog. The rains have come, but I'm sure they will be back and I don't want to be around for it.

The last wild place on earth

The land is fertile, rich in trees and plants, unpopulated, unspoilt, and with lots of rain. In theory it’s a perfect home for wild animals to live.

Recently while driving to Torit I saw a leopard crossing the road. The rarity of seeing a leopard even in countries with more developed animal protection standards like Kenya made me think that there might be lots of them in Sudan. Seeing the leopard led to a conversation in which I was told that many in the Acholi tribe believe that people can turn into animals like leopards, hyenas, and cheetas. Everyone in the village knows who these people are and that they turn into animals. This was coming from a very educated person who is still a believer in this ‘magic’. But, who am I to judge? - maybe I’ll get to his home town and see this for myself…

There are also elephants roaming the lands here. Recently there was an elephant who wandered into a town called Narus. It was immediately killed and I was told that it was eaten and the Ivory was divided up between the rich men of the area who make rings and bracelets to show their wealth. Sadly this is the fate of many animals who would probably like to migrate to the rich lands of Sudan if there were a little protection for them from their biggest enemies- man. There is a Sudan Wildlife Service within the government, only time will tell how well they manage. Maybe Sudan will become the next Safari destination someday??

Aside from the big game animals, the smaller animals in Sudan are also impressive. I’m no birder, but there are the strangest birds here that I have ever seen. Eagles are everywhere, frogs surround me, not to mention the insects (of the ones I have seen I can’t imagine that they have all been identified before.) On the drive today we hit a wild guinea fowl. They run wild here and are abundant on the roads. After I saw the flash of feathers on the windshield our driver promptly stopped, collected the bird from the side of the road, and threw it in the vehicle for dinner. I didn’t get to taste it, but I’ve heard that guinea fowl is tasty.

Family reunification

Reading back over my posts the last few weeks I realize that things were looking quite grim and I was feeling a bit low.
Today, things are looking up for several reasons:

First - the cook has recovered, no one else has been evacuated, and I'm still feeling quite healthy.
Second- I got out of Kapoeta and into the field, I visited the market, bought some beads, and ran into a friend in Torit.
Third- I saw the real impact of the peace agreement on families in South Sudan today:

Most if not all of my Sudanese colleagues have lived as refugees at some point in time. I've spoken about their time during the war and many have been living apart from close family members since the war started until today. During the war family structures fell apart and children were raised alone, with another family member, distant relatives, or strangers. (For example many of the 'lost boys' that were resettled to America that fled the country as unaccompanied children) Some Sudanese that I work with have been outside of Sudan for a long time and this is their first time returning and living in the country that they were born in.

One colleague fled to Uganda as a child where he was raised by his grandmother. The rest of his family was displaced to many different locations and no there was no contact with his immediate family from the mid- 80's until 2002 -not even a letter...

Today I met his elder sisters. This was the first time for me, and also the first time for him. He had not seen his sisters in 19 years and they randomly found each other in Torit today. 19 years! The last time they saw each other they were infants they were introduced to each other again by someone who knew both of them. The reunion was so touching- imagine meeting family that you don't really know because you were separated by war for most of your life. His sister had photos of the family and news from his mother that he also had not seen since he was an infant.

A happy day to see that families can finally be reunited after all of these years apart and only now because peace has come to South Sudan and people can move more freely than before within their own country.

Hopelessness

I woke up this morning feeling hopeless. I’m not sure why today, but for some reason I am overwhelmed by the difficulties ahead for Sudan especially the way my work is going. When I think of everything that the country has gone through and the difficulties still ahead it makes me feel like I am wasting my time and lots of money here.

Maybe that is always the difficulty of development work- having a sustainable real impact without wasting resources. The government of the South is still in a nascent state and is unable to do many of the things that they a government should do and then NGOs end up doing it. Government employees are not receiving their salaries, the system is over-inflated with too many employees, and there are allegations of corruption going around. I understand that thework that the local government has to do to rebuilt the country is enormous! Imagine trying to rebuild a legal system, army and police system, property rights, access to health care, water, education, solve tribal conflicts, etc, etc with very limited resources and surrounded by people with guns who have more power than you do. In trying to help them do their job we end up fighting with the local authorities because they are working towards their political interests rather than the interests of the people.

I think this hopelessness came about because of my own personal frustrations with how things work in Sudan and how difficult it is to get anything done! You have to explain something at least 10 times before anything gets done. I'm learning that there is a lack of communication all around with Sudanese and a lack of trust of anyone. Sudanese love to talk but aren't much for putting words into action.
I know there is this sense of hopelessness in general here and people are ready to give up so easily. Take the example of this conversation today:

Me: "We have had a problem with transportation and one of the trucks got stuck in the mud and can't bring participants.
Boss: "Well, it's obvious that the conference is a failure then. We should just cancel it all!"
Me: "Ok, what do you tell the 100 people waiting for us right now? And the three months of work put into this?"
Boss: "Let's just hand it off to the government."

I think I could soon start to adopt the Sudanese giving up attitude...

All of this is compounded by these other frustrations:
- All the shops are closed down in town because of the incident a few days ago, you can feel the tension as you go through town.
- Our fridge is broken (no cold beers), our generator is broken, our printer is broken, and basically every vehicle we have has something wrong with it.
- Our cook is sick and was evacuated today. I'm dying for some good food!
- Mosquitoes are out in full force and are driving me crazy!
- I just want to feel clean and pretty for once! And not sweaty!

On a happier note, I got some photos of children to make me smile today. (but on a more hopeless note, they are all severely malnourished...) I guess I have to focus on the small victories in Sudan or I might lose all hope.

Chukudum

Some photos of my trip to the town of Chukudum last week. It's built up in the hills so the weather is a bit cooler and the landscape is completely different- it's a beautiful place. The road there is terrible so it's been quite isolated for years.
The goats on top of the bus made me laugh... And again on the way back we got stuck in the worst rains ever. (this is when our car broke down in the middle of crossing a river) It took us 11 hours to go less than 100 km! I thought we would have to sleep in the car.

Kawaja! Kawaja!

‘Kawaja’ is the Arab word for someone from Europe, and anywhere I go around town that is the greeting that I usually get. It doesn’t matter where the white person comes from, we are all Kawajas. Sometime small children see me around town and run off screaming, not a usual reaction for me most places that I go in the rest of the world… Stopping the car and I can be surrounded by a group of interested children (and adults sometimes.)

As one of my Sudanese colleagues told me, I’m like a tourist attraction and should start charging for a Kawaja sighting. I think it’s especially so because I’m a Kawaja female and have blond hair and blue eyes- there aren’t too many of us that have made it around these parts. Especially not Kawaja’s that do things that women around these parts don’t do like going jogging, driving, going to meetings with men, etc... I’m sure that once I learn to ride the motorcycle around town (sorry mom- but it’s the only way to get around…), it will be even more of a oddity. Yesterday when I was driving around town a small boy asked my colleague if the car was a car for Kawaja’s? I was about to give him a ride in the car to show him that the car wasn’t only for Kawaja’s but as my usual reaction with Sudanese children is for them to run screaming I thought he might be a little afraid.

However even as a Kawaja the local people are so accepting and welcoming. Sudanese are known for their hospitality. I have even been given a real Toposa name. (Toposa people are given their second name based on the place that they were born.) My second name is now Nakai which means one born in the house. I wanted to say that I was actually born in a hospital and not a house, but I’m sure that ‘one born in a hospital’ does not exist as a name yet due to the lack of hospitals.

Flash Floods

Returning back to Kapoeta following a week in Juba is not an easy task. The drive would not be too long except that the road between Juba and Torit (which you have to take to get anywhere East of Juba) is impassible because of insecurity. The insecurity is caused by the LRA (the Lord’s Resistance Army from Uganda), or others using the LRA as a scapegoat. So this means taking a flight from Juba to Kenya- only to return back to Sudan. The flight takes us to Loki, Kenya- on the border with Sudan. I won’t talk about the flight now because I don’t want to scare anyone who might fly in Africa, but all I can say is that I will never fly another WFP (World Food Program) flight again- certainly not with a pilot named Chris!

Loki (as it is fondly called) is the hub of ex-pat activity. Or at least it used to be. When the war was going on it was the only way into Sudan and many people just worked from there. Now that access to Southern Sudan has opened up, Loki is not quite what it once was… Lots of NGOs are closing up shop in Kenya altogether and moving on establish themselves entirely in Juba.

To get to the Sudanese border we have to wait for a security escort because there was an incident a few days before we were to travel. I feel a sigh of relief upon crossing back into Sudan and away from Kenya. Who would have thought that Kenya was more of a problem than Sudan?

It was a long rainy night the day before we left Loki. As we set out in the morning the rain was still pouring down. I knew that the road out would be bad, but not quite as bad as this! We just cross the border before encountering our first problem. Three trucks have gotten stuck in the mud and there is nowhere for us to pass. I’m not quite sure how our driver makes it through and around the trucks, but we are able to pass. Thinking that was the end of it we continue only to reach another mess full of trucks stuck in the mud. Thankfully there is a bigger truck busy pulling trucks out of the mud which I'm sure he will be busy doing all day.

The next big roadblock is a river that was bone dry when I drove over it 2 weeks ago and now after one night of rain the river is rushing quickly. Another NGO’s car got swept away as they tried to cross the river during another flood, so I know crossing a river is a challenge. There is nothing to do when we arrive but wait… The river comes and goes and we just have to wait for the right time. As we wait we are surrounded by Toposa people who are also waiting to cross the river on foot. If they can make it we can too! We risk it and manage to get across safely, although I was holding my breath the whole way just in case we got swept away.

Back to Kapoeta at last…. With the rain what should have been a two hour journey took nearly six.

Keeping peace at a peace conference

The Peace conference in Torit begins with the arrival by plane of the Vice President of South Sudan (Riek Machar). Upon his arrival a white bull is slaughtered for him to step over. My first sighting of such a thing, but I manage to hold back my gag as I take this photo… Seeing this reinforces why I’m a vegetarian… (I have already caused a controversy and insulted several people by not eating meat here – but that’s another story for another time...) The Vice President is taken to the conference hall where he is welcomed by traditional Sudanese dancers.

The conference lasts a week with lots of logistical chaos and definitely a lack of peace in the planning, but the conference itself was successful. People got together to speak about peace (and sometimes war), and to learn from each other’s experiences. There are some strong personalities at the conference and not many women’s voices are being heard in the government right now. There is so much work to be done to rebuild a country like Sudan, hopefully meetings like this will help in bringing everyone together to talk about their issues and work towards peace.

Juba:

After the conference, we jump on a plane that looks like it’s from World War II and fly straight to Juba. The flight goes smoothly and the plane is much more solid than I originally thought after seeing the way that it was held together. As I get off the plane we are waiting on the runway for our car. I found this to be a little unsafe so moved inside. A few minutes later I find myself separated from my car which is on the runway and inside by more soldiers than I have ever seen. I run through the middle of them to get to my car not realizing what was going on, but later found out that the President of South Sudan's plane has just landed and is on the runway. He has a huge reception anytime he arrives at the airport, next time I'll be prepared for all the soldiers...

From the airport I make my first foray into Juba- the capital of all of South Sudan. It feels a little like Nairobi, only hotter, dustier, and safer! I felt safe walking around at night alone and leaving the door unlocked. I think because of Sharia law in the country during the war, everyone is so afraid of committing any kind of crime. Also in general Sudanese people are very honest.

I was able to eat good Indian food, great pizza, and some Nile fish (which I’m sure had some kind of toxins considering it came from this polluted part of the Nile). Juba is on the banks of the Nile, but there is no agriculture going on here. One irrigation system from the river is right now being used to wash cars! There is definitely a need for some good agriculture and water people in Juba.

You can buy liquor and other Western delights from the new supermarket in town- all imported from Kenya and Uganda of course. Nothing much is produced in Sudan yet… But, I’ll take what I can get while I’m in Juba. With my new stock of goodies, I head back to the bush of Kapoeta.